Baseball season officially ended on Monday night, but the Cubs have long been dead.

Long before the 75-87 campaign ended with a 4-0 loss on Oct. 3, Cubs baseball had been dug a grave and placed into its resting place until February 2011 when pitchers and catchers report.

That was, of course, until Mark Kirk raised the familiar white flag that sails above Wrigley Field as Cubdom sings “Go Cubs Go” after a victory.

Maybe it was fitting for the white flag with the blue ‘W’ to make a cameo appearance in Wheeling as Kirk defeated Democrat Alexi Giannoulias en route to taking over the seat once owned by President (and White Sox fan) Barack Obama.

Or maybe it was fitting because the election hangover was reminiscent of when Mike Quade, not Ryne Sandberg, was named successor to Lou Piniella on a full-time basis.

When it was announced that Quade had edged Sandberg by a hair on Oct. 19, supporters of the Hall of Fame second basemen were outraged. Many Cubs fans expected

Ryno, who paid his dues by managing four years in the Cubs minor league system, to inherit the chair vacated by Piniella in August while Quade was only supposed to keep the seat warm until Sandberg arrived from Iowa.

Similarly, staunch Democratic supporters thought Alexi Giannoulias was a shoo-in to take the seat vacated by Obama before Roland Burris stepped in to take up space before a full-time successor was chosen.

Oops.

On Tuesday, Kirk played the spoiler role that was similar to Quade. He earned enough support from enough people to be elected into the empty U.S. Senate seat.

The reactionary outrage was palpable.

Those who are vowing to move to Canada today sound a lot like Cubs fans vowing to never step foot in Wrigley Field ever again.

But miffed voters won’t move to Canada, especially once they realize the world didn’t end when Illinois elected Kirk to occupy one of 50 U.S. Senate seats.

And the fans who have sworn off the Cubs forever for dissing Sandberg by not hiring him will come back when spring training begins because hope springs eternal.

If voters aren’t pleased with the officials they’ve elected in 2010, it wouldn’t shock me if Democratic party supporters came out voting in big numbers in 2012 and claim victory on election night as they did in 2008.

Similarly, if the Cubs don’t like what Quade does in his two year stint as full-time manager, they could simply decline the third year option and start fresh.

Maybe in 2012, Giannoulias Sandberg will be a little bit more mature, seasoned and ready to handle the big boy job at hand.

Surely, this was not the way Lou Piniella envisioned his managerial finale.

After 48 years of being a Major League Baseball player, manager and general manager, Piniella took off the uniform for the last time after the Atlanta Braves routed the Chicago Cubs 16-5 sending the outgoing manager with a reminder what winning baseball looks like.

Thankfully, Piniella’s career won’t be judged by one lackluster August afternoon.

Yesterday, we saw a grown man cry when Piniella held his final press conference at Wrigley Field.

Were they tears of sorrow as he reflected on a career in which he spent nearly half a century in Major League Baseball.

Or were they tears of joy because he no longer will be forced to write up a line-up card with Darwin Barney leading off, Jeff Baker playing right field or Koyie Hill behind the plate.

In any case, Sweet Lou is off to his sun-soaked Florida home where he’ll spend his time in his mother’s presence in her final days. What’s almost as sad as the circumstances of Piniella’s departure is knowing there are Cubs fans applauding this decision as if Tom Trebelhorn or Bruce Kimm was walking away.

It’s not like Piniella won more than 1,800 games, managed four different teams to 90-win seasons in three different decades, won three Manager of the Year awards (one of which was with the Cubs) or won 116 games with a Seattle Mariners club led by an upstart rookie named Ichiro, a 38-year-old Edgar Martinez and a pitching staff spearheaded by Jamie Moyer and Aaron Sele.

In 2007, Piniella inherited a mess of a roster and took a Cubs team that opened with Cesar Izturis and Michael Barrett as everyday players and Bobby Howry and Scott Eyre as shutdown late-inning guys, whipped them into shape, won 88 games and a National League Central Division championship.

One year later, the Cubs blazed through the National League, put their collective cleats to the throat of the Cardinals, Brewers and anyone else that stood in their path and won 97 games and another NL Central title.

Neither playoff appearance ended with a World Series. Neither season even produced a playoff victory.

In fact, since last holding first place on Aug. 5, 2009, Piniella’s Cubs went 77-102 over the next 179 games. And really, it’s not his fault. Look, Piniella should be applauded for taking that team into first place for any time span considering he was dealt a hand in which he relied on Kevin Gregg to be its closer and Milton Bradley to be its middle-of-the-order lefty thumper.

So maybe Lou didn’t deserve a better fate than having his last game as a manager end by being on the short end of a 16-5 blowout. Given a bad roster, Piniella shuffled the line-up, bullpen, rotation and everything possible in order to spark a moribund team and did so to no avail.

It was as if he was sent into a modern-day battlefield and Jim Hendry sent him out with a musket.

They might not feel it today, tomorrow or even by October, but Cubs fans will miss Lou Piniella. And if they don’t, it will confirm how brain-dead this franchise’s fan base has become. It’s not like Piniella stabbed Mark Prior’s shoulder, took an aluminum bat to the small of Kerry Wood’s back and swung a steel chair at Mark DeRosa’s forehead.

He managed three straight squads to winning records from 2007 to 2009. No Cubs manager had done that since Leo Durocher went 430-379  from 1967-71. Before Durocher’s reign, the Cubs had six seasons of at least 90 losses over a 10 year period.

In a nutshell, the Cubs went 38 years between having a manager good enough to navigate through three consecutive winning seasons.

So, I guess I’ll see you in 2048, right?

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Before the wheels fell off in 2010, Derrek Lee had himself a productive career for the Chicago Cubs.

A fixture at first base since 2004, Lee has played 924 games in his career slamming 179 home runs, driven in 574 RBIs and hitting at a .282 clip. When you discount the season in which Rafael Furcal and Scott Eyre teamed to obliterate Lee’s wrist in 2006, the slugging Cubs first baseman averaged 31 homers and 97 ribbies in five fully healthy seasons from 2004 through 2009.

The 2010 campaign has been a struggle for Lee, who was coming off a 2009 season where he hit 35 home runs and drove in a career-best 111 RBIs. Lee hasn’t hit for power (16 home runs in 475 plate appearances) or average (.251), and his lack of production in the line-up is one of the many reasons the Cubs are among baseball’s biggest disappointments.

However, Lee could get a chance to make amends over the season’s final months and possibly into October now that this trade with the Atlanta Braves has gone through. And upon checking out the initial reports, it could be a win-win for all parties.

Dealing Lee opens up a slew of options.

For starters, the Cubs could clear as much as $3 million of Lee’s remaining salary. While the team loses out on the chance of two draft picks that could have been available had Lee remained with the team and declined the team’s arbitration offer, it also means the Cubs no longer are at risk of having to overpay an aging corner infielder coming off his worst statistical season when/if Lee accepts arbitration.

If Lee is indeed gone, it means his $13 million annual salary is also off the books. Tack on the $12 million that came off the books with Ted Lilly being dealt to Los Angeles and the Cubs should have $25 million to play with this upcoming offseason. But, before we get external options, the Cubs might want to explore what they’ve already got in the cupboard.

*Checks cupboard*

*Frowns*

Alright, well, all is not lost.

It’s open tryouts season over at the Friendly Confines starting on Friday when Lee and the Braves come to town. The Cubs could clear up a muddied outfield by moving impressive rookie Tyler Colvin to first, a position he played while in college. The Northsiders could also find themselves using Xavier Nady to end the year, but also as a one-year placeholder for Lee. Nady has posted a .296/.406/.444/.851 slash line over his last nine games coming into Wednesday’s game against the San Diego Padres.

Down the line, the Cubs could call up prospect Josh Vitters, continuing the youth movement at Clark & Addison. At that point, he could either put in work at first base or shift Aramis Ramirez across the diamond and set him at first base next season. Another outside the box idea could be moving Alfonso Soriano to first base, a position where the Cubs could attempt to hide the defensive liability he will become as his contract continues to wind down.

Paul Konerko and Lance Berkman are among the names you might recognize that could hit free agency. But if the Cubs try to fill Lee’s void via the open market, Adam Dunn (and his 25 career bombs and 1.061 OPS in 66 games Wrigley Field) should be the team’s top priority. And not that I’m looking too far ahead, but Prince Fielder is a free agent in 2012 and he’s played well against NL Central foes and will only be 28 years old.

As for the Braves, they get one of the best defensive first basemen in baseball. Lee is a two-time Gold Glove winner who saved countless errors when patrolling first base. Aramis Ramirez and Ryan Theriot owe Lee the kind of dinner that would make Jim Hendry’s mouth water.

While D-Lee’s offensive struggles are evident, you’ve got to like his numbers against the Braves’ top rival for the division title — the Philadelphia Phillies. In 2010, Lee is hitting .292 with a pair of homers and six RBIs in 24 at bats this season.

In the end, the Cubs get three pitching prospect from the Braves in exchange for a month-and-a-half of Derrek Lee. Though, I can’t remember the last time the Braves sent out a pitching prospect in a deal that panned out, the Cubs have three arms to groom into a winner.

What does it say about a franchise when Lou Piniella’s four years as Chicago Cubs manager ranks among the best over the franchise’s past 50 years or so despite not having won a playoff game?

Other than Sweet Lou,  only Jim Frey (.519) and Leo Durocher (.504) have winning percentages above the break even point. Jim Lefebvre broke even with a .500 career in his two years with the Cubs.

With his 312 wins as Cubs manager, Piniella has more Ws than Frey, Don Zimmer and Don Baylor. Zimmer, Frey and Dusty Baker were the only Cubs managers to lead the squad to postseason victories. Baker was the only one to win a postseason series.

Now, here’s Piniella, on what amounts to be a victory lap void of actual victories.

And here I am, saying it must stop.

Now.

No one respects Piniella’s work in Chicago more than yours truly. To say he shook things up in Chicago would be an understatement.

Piniella cleaned up a lot of Dusty’s mess with one hand tied behind his back. He gave young players a fighting chance when vets stunk up the joint. He tinkered with the line-up like a mad chemist would tweak a formula until it was perfect. He challenged Jim Hendry to build a better roster from the ground up.

He famously told Ryan Dempster to “throw f*cking strikes” during an early-season meeting to the mound in 2007 when Demp was the closer. He riled up the dugout with a dirt-kicking tirade aimed at Mark Wegner’s loafers. He shuffled line-ups, pitching staffs and spit in the face of Cubbie lore all in the name of trying to win meaningful baseball games.

Yet, all that means nothing as of right now.

Piniella didn’t travel with the Cubs on their road trip where they’ll meet the San Francisco Giants starting tonight in Carlos Zambrano’s return to the bump. Instead, Piniella took a trip home to Florida to check up on his ailing mother. And in my humble opinion, that’s where he should stay.

Do not confuse this tone with one from a disgruntled fan who believes Lou has quit on his team. Furthermore, this isn’t a “get out and stay out” blog pining for Alan Trammel or Ryne Sandberg to take over on an interim basis to see what each man could do.

In fact, this is a nod of respect in Piniella’s direction. My mother had a major open-heart surgery this winter and I felt powerless at work six hours away when I felt I should have been home. Surely, Piniella feels the same way when he’s in the middle of a lopsided game against an NL Central foe with his team inching closer to the Pittsburgh Pirates with each passing loss.

The meaningless games are starting to pile up as Piniella heads down the home stretch of his managerial career. At this point, with his team out of contention and his mother’s health wilting, I would suggest to Sweet Lou to call it quits and let Trammel finish the season as the Cubs manager and possibly calling up Sandberg to sit aside him, if only to get him a look at the mess he’ll inherit if offered the job this winter.

As for Piniella’s victory lap, allow the man to return for the final home series with a celebratory weekend in his honor. Clear out the swankiest luxury box and load it with some of the coziest recliner and the finest wine money can buy. Have one toast to Lou with a proper booze-filled send-off for what he’s done over the past four years.

Because we all know booze-filled is the best way to enjoy Chicago Cubs baseball nowadays.

Step aside, Jason Heyward, for Starlin Castro is in the midst of making a compelling case for National League Rookie of the Year honors.

Castro’s main competition isn’t the 6-5, 240-pound mammoth right fielder, rather Heyward’s hype machine — a menacing force in its own right is the primary object keeping Castro from reeling in rookie headlines.

Heyward has knocked out 11 home runs and driven in 50 RBIs this season to go along with a respectable .823 OPS. However, he has homered only once since May 29th. In the 207 plate appearances following, Heyward has posted a .235/.338/.324/.662 line. His last homer came on June 17, and in the 101 at-bats since his last tater, Heyward has only nine extra-base hits.

Reports of the Jay-Hey Kid’s demise might be premature. But the subsequent power outage has opened the door for Castro to walk in — and possibly — walk out with the NL Rookie of the Year award.

When Castro was called up, many rejoiced in the wake of the news that Cubs fans were no longer subjected to watching Ryan Theriot ineptly play shortstop from a defensive standpoint. Others basked in his 2-for-5 day at the plate, which featured an opposite field homer in his first at bat, a triple and six RBIs.

Though it was tough to envision Castro repeating that kind of production on a nightly basis, it was the kind of sample size that Cubs fans craved for from the 20-year-old to deliver. In the 28 games that followed Castro hit a respectable .275, but wasn’t showing off the ability to hit liners from gap-to-gap as he did in his sterling debut. Castro finished May with a .310/.355/.414/.769 slash line.

He would go on to post a .227 average in the month of June. That, coupled with some physical and mental errors, visions of sugarplums Gary Scott, Brooks Kieschnick and Corey Patterson danced in the heads of Cubs fans — and probably members of the front office as well.

From June 1 through the July 10, Castro hit .235 with 10 extra-base hits and an ominous OPS of .666.

Castro has been on a since regular season play resumed after the break. He’s now hitting .318 with an .823 OPS thanks to the torrid stretch in which Castro is hitting .423 and slugging at a .642 clip over the past 19 games. With 13 extra-base hits (10 doubles, two triples, one home run) in his last 84 plate appearances, Castro has surpassed his power production from his previous 128 times he has stepped to the plate.

You would likely be shocked to hear that since May 30, both Castro and Heyward have the same amount of homers — one. However, Castro has statistically out-performed the Atlanta Braves right fielder. Castro has only 19 more at-bats than Heyward does since May 30 (197 to 179), and has made the most of them.

The young Cubs shortstop bests Heyward in the following categories: RBIs (20 to 14), extra-base hits (24 to 13), batting average (.325 to .235), slugging percentage (.477 to .324) and OPS (.848 to .623).

It’s a shame that Castro’s production hasn’t directly influenced the Cubs’ record as the team continues to be mired in a season-long slump. Chicago’s Northsiders are 8-11 after the break and the countdown until this mind-numbing season is over.

Mired in a crippling losing streak in a season that really never got off the ground, seeing Ryan Theriot wearing Dodger blue is a sight for sore eyes.

On the other hand, it took the Chicago Cubs dealing its most valuable asset, left-handed starting pitcher Ted Lilly, to get rid of the team’s underachieving pipsqueak second baseman.

To the untrained eye, the celebration of trading away a player with a .284 batting average and 19 stolen bases would be viewed as bizarre. However, like many of my fellow Cubs fans, yours truly tired of Theriot’s poor decision-making skills at the plate, in the field and on the basepaths to the point where it was acceptable to hate your own player.

Believe it or not, it wasn’t always like that.

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For whatever reason, the Chicago Cubs have had an affinity for pint-sized middle infielders.

Once upon a time, the Cubs employed a munchkin-sized shortstop named Cesar Izturis, who was supposed to be entrenched at the position for a long time. Acquired for future-Hall of Famer Greg Maddux, Izturis was two seasons removed from a Gold Glove-winning campaign in which he hit for a respectable .288 batting average.

Unfortunately, in between Izturis’ career year and his season with the Cubs was a stint on the DL in 2005 as he underwent Tommy John Surgery. In 286 plate appearances with the Northsiders, Izturis, presumably swinging a whiffle-ball bat, hit .242/.293/.292/.585.

Enter stage right Theriot, a scrappy, hard-working pup buried behind Neifi Perez and Jose Macias at the end of the Dusty Baker regime. Theriot represented the blue-collar mouth-breathers that inhabit message boards and sports talk radio with his grit, determination and eventual status as extreme overachiever.

Theriot won over fans simply because he wasn’t Cesar Izturis, Neifi Perez or Jose Macias.

From 2007 to 2008, Theriot’s play as the everyday shortstop was a microcosm of Chicago Cubs baseball over that two-year period: fun to watch until September.

In 2007, Theriot entered the season’s final month with a .281 batting average. He would eventually bump it up to .283 on Sept. 5 before going 15-for-84 to end the season with a .266 batting average. One year later, Theriot’s stumble down the stretch was highlighted with his fielding gaffe in Game 2 of the NLDS against the Los Angeles Dodgers. His error helped open the floodgates in what would eventually be a sweep for LA.

From there, it was all downhill.

It turns out Theriot’s .387 on-base percentage in 2008 was nothing more than a mirage. One season after showing a high level of plate discipline (73 walks, 58 strikeouts in 2008), Theriot saw it vanish overnight as he finished with 51 walks against 93 strikeouts. Somehow, Theriot’s plate discipline took more of a fall in 2010 as he accumulated 46 strikeouts and only drew 19 free passes before being traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers.

In turn, the Cubs acquired Blake DeWitt, a left-handed hitting utility infielder who could secure a roster spot at second base with a solid final two months, and two minor league arms.

At this point, who cares who pans out. Rather than pay Theriot the remainder of his $2.6 million contract, the Cubs have three warm bodies that will be under team control for the foreseeable future who learned to play ball in one of the most respected minor league system’s in the game prior to arriving in Chicago.

If none of these players pan out, Cubs fans will go home with a moral victory of never having to see Theriot run the bases, swing for the fences or skip throws across the diamond in Cubbie blue ever again.

Oh, hi there Ryan Dempster. Nice of you to show up.

You know. Two years too late.

Yes, the Cubs beat the Dodgers last night 3-0 as Dempster outdueled Clayton Kershaw. Yes, Derrek Lee showed up with a  3-for-3 day which featured a homer and three RBIs. Yes, Chicago’s Northside baseball team has won seven of its last nine games, including four against teams that are a combined 76-56.

But where the hell was this in October 2008?

Yeah, I’m still bitter about that game.

When you miss what amounted to two days of classes and spend a combined 12 hours on the road just to watch the Cubs piss all over your hopes and dreams, you’re allowed to bitch about it.

Lucky for you, I’ll stop now only to inform you that the Cubs might actually find themselves contending at the top end of the NL Central rather than battling to stay out of the cellar.The Cubs are inching back toward the .500 mark and I find myself getting sucked back into the mess.

Who are these guys?

Is this the same team that has been blugeoned by the Pirates? It can’t be.

But is it the team that has won three straight, seven of nine and has taken it to the likes of division leading Texas and Philadelphia — and last night to the Dodgers who were handed only their third loss in the last 15 games.

Again, I ask, who are these guys?

It’s the bums you never even wanted here to begin with.

Deals with the devil made by Carlos Silva and Tom Gorzelanny will expire eventually, right?

Silva has more wins with the Cubs (six) in nine starts than he did in 36 appearances over a two year span with the Mariners. The Cubs have won eight of his nine starts and has walked 11 batters in a little more than 53 innings. John Grabow has issued 11 free passes in 17 innings.

Gorzelanny’s deal with the devil might have been a more tricky one, considering that his earned run average in the low threes has yielded only two victories in eight starts this season. In his four losses, the Cubs have scored a grand total of eight runs. If Gorzelanny has a good attorney, he might be able to amend some of the language in the agreement to allow Chicago to possibly generate some offense when he takes the rubber.

Despite a recent 2-for-23 slump for Marlon Byrd, he ranks second in RBIs and home runs.

And who leads the team in both categories?

None other than Alfonso Soriano.

For three weeks, Soriano was a sorry excuse for a baseball player. Now, with nine homers, 27 ribbies and a .389 on-base percentage suddenly Soriano looks like a guy who is actually earning his 18 million dollar salary.

Even though Lee has yet to produce much offensively this season, he is a career .294 hitter from June 1 on, so things might be on the up-tick for the Cubs’ first baseman. Aramis Ramirez recently had his first four-strikeout game of his career, and with a nagging thumb injury, could find the DL before he finds his stroke again. Kosuke Fukudome is doing that thing he does oh, so well in batting .259 since May 1 after hitting .344 in April.

Who knows what the hell is going on with Carlos Zambrano, who has only pitched 9 2/3 innings since being banished to the bullpen.

The Cub studs have yet to produce this season, and I’m not sure how much longer guys like Byrd, Silva and Gorzelanny can keep up their end of the bargain. In baseball, everything evens out. But for the Cubs, there always seems to be a flatline.

The sad thing is that being five games out of first, Chicago is by no means out of the NL Central race. The Cardinals have three good everyday players, but Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright can’t pitch every game of a series. Jamie Garcia comes back to Earth, eventually, as well. Correct?

The Reds are managed by Dusty Baker. I hope for their sake that Mike Leake and Johnny Cueto have already made appointments to visit Dr. James Andrews.

Milwaukee employs a Hall of Fame-bound closer with a 12.21 earned run average. You can score 10 runs per game, but if your pitching gives up 11 … you’re still getting tagged with a loss.

Fans of the Astros should be counting down the days until Texas football summer camp begins, if they haven’t already done so by now.

Apparently, the Cubs’ lone challenge this year outside of St. Louis appears to be the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Their fire sale couldn’t happen soon enough.

Believe it or not, the Cubs can win this division and have 117 games to figure out how to do so.

Do you trust Lou Piniella and Jim Hendry to concoct a plan to overcome St. Louis? Of course you don’t. But now that the Cubs aren’t a complete laughing stock, you’re sucked in enough to give a damn and watch.

Chicago Cubs fans must be awfully excited about Starlin Castro’s showing in his first two weeks as a professional.

And fans who also happen to be fantasy baseball players must be geeked as well.

As of this posting, the Cubs 20-year-old phenom shortstop is owned in only 36 percent of Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball leagues. Had he been the phenom shortstop from the Yankees, Mets or Red Sox, Castro would have been scooped up by at least 136 percent of leagues.

No one denies this.

In 13 games as the Cubs shortstop, Castro is hitting .375 with a home run and 10 runs batted in. Three of his 18 hits have been extra-base knocks. Castro has also drawn five walks (against five strikeouts) and (in a small sample size) owns an OPS of .934.

Jason Bartlett (78 percent owned) has a .248/.330/.357/.686 line this season, and in his last 12 games is only hitting .233/.340/.372/.712. Miguel Tejada has name value, but is hitting only .268/.307/.399/.705 this season and is hitting only .179 over his last 13 games.

Shortstop isn’t a make-or-break position, but it is a spot where you can get some value out of a guy hitting at a high average to balance out where some of your power hitters lack in the average department.

Cubs fans probably swooped to get Castro when he hit the free agent market if they didn’t already use a late-round draft pick on him. Shortstops that OPS in the .900s do not come around often. Shortstops that can reach first base with throws without having to crow hop and pray don’t come around too often for the Northsiders, either.

That is why Castro is a special talent.

The lone knock thus far on Castro is that he is hitting at the bottom of the Cubs’ line-up — right in front of the pitcher. It is May 21. Kosuke Fukudome is due for a June swoon, and Ryan Theriot (a career .268 hitter in June) surely can’t keep up his hot hitting for too long.

Castro will get his time in a prime spot in the order.

I know Cubs fans have heard this before, but your patience will be rewarded. Eventually. But if you patiently wait for Castro to drop in your lap, you’re sadly mistaken.

Go grab him before someone else in your league does, then holds him for ransom.

Lost amidst Aramis Ramirez bringing his bat to the ballpark and Randy Wells’ quality start might have been Sean Marshall’s performance out of the bullpen last night.

Marshall’s line in picking up the extra-inning win: 2 IP 0 H 0 R 0 ER 4 K

It would have been unnecessary had John Grabow not gagged a one-run lead in the eighth.

Grabow’s line last night: 0.2 IP 1 H 1 R 1 ER 2 BB 0 K

Outside of Carlos Marmol, Marshall has been the best reliever out of the ‘pen. In 18.1 innings of work, the 6-foot-7 southpaw owns a 0.796 WHIP, 12.08 K/9 ratio and a 5.4-to-1 strikeout to walk ratio.

That’s flat-out nasty coming from the left side in the late innings.

His splits make me think he can be more than just another LOOGY.

Opponents are batting .162, slugging .226 and have accumulated a total of two extra-base hits against Marshall — none of which have been home runs.

Lefties have only drawn one walk and are hitting .227 off Marshall and have been held without an extra-base hit in 25 plate appearances. And to think, righties actually have it worse against Marshall as right-handed batters are batting .150 with a slugging percentage of .225.

If I posted John Grabow’s stats, you’d spit up your lunch all over your computer. Your employer probably would not be pleased, but hey, you might get a new computer.

And if I told you how much he was making this year ($2.7 million) and next year ($4.8 million) you would immediately reconsider your life path, damn your parents to hell for not teaching you how to throw left handed and weep during your lunch hour.

Even Mike Tyson thinks spending $7.5 on an aging LOOGY is fiscally irresponsible.

Grabow is this year’s Kevin Gregg, but without stupid goggles and an extra year on his contract.

At least, Grabow does not have no-trade protection — that we know of.

With Marshall becoming the premier set-up man for Marmol, maybe manager Lou Piniella can make another move that does not defy common sense and move Carlos Zambrano back into the starting rotation.

But that might be asking too much, too soon.

At 16-22, the Chicago Cubs have no business having anyone being on the National League All-Star Team — let alone potential candidates.

Yet, when I woke up this morning and checked my e-mail, I was encouraged to vote for my favorite Cubs for the Midsummer Classic.

I have always been of the belief of not stuffing the ballot box for your favorite player, especially after Bud Selig’s “Let’s Make It Count” campaign began after the Milwaukee debacle.

Go back to 2003, when the Cubs were contending in the NL Central. Do you really want to vote Damian Miller or Hee Seop Choi onto the team when home field advantage rests on a glorified exhibition game?

Didn’t think so.

And rather than stuff the ballot box with undeserving Cubs, I tended to lean toward getting the best talent on the field.

Think about it.

How cool would it be knowing that it was Albert Pujols’ game-winning single and Adam Wainwright closing it out that propelled the Cubs to  home field advantage and a Game 7 win in the World Series.

It wouldn’t happen — especially under Jim Hendry. But can a man dream?

After the jump, we’ll break down actual candidates vying for All-Star game bids.

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Geovany Soto, Catcher

The Chicago Cubs backstop is returning to an all-time high — no, not that kind.

Soto has shown pop in his bat as he currently ranks first among National League catchers, and third overall at the position, with a .927 OPS.

The return of Soto’s bat to 2008 form was supposed to be key in the Cubs’ revival. So far, it hasn’t helped the team in the win column. Then again, you can only hit so much before John Grabow gets lit like Portland TrailBlazer circa early 2000s.

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Alfonso Soriano, Outfielder

After one week, Cubs fans were ready to pay airfare for  Soriano and the remaining five years and $90 million left on his contract and send it to Alcatraz if it meant getting him out of the line-up.

As of now, fans are tolerating his iffy defense if only to see the left fielder slug some dingers.

Soriano ranks first among baseball’s left fielders with a 1.011 OPS and is second among NL left fielders with a .331 batting average (minimum 100 at-bats) behind Ryan Braun’s .343 clip.

At this pace, the seven-time All-Star is looking at a 32-homer, 106-RBI season based on his splits adjusted over 615 plate appearances.

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Marlon Byrd, Outfielder

Byrd is indeed the word around Wrigley Field as the off-season signing that was much maligned in these parts has become undoubtedly the team’s most valuable player in the true definition of the word valuable.

His .964 OPS ranks first among full-time National League center fielders and second only to Toronto’s Vernon Wells, who is OPSing .966.

The Cub center fielder has 25 RBIs and 33 extra-base hits, leading the squad in both categories.

And believe it or not, but at this rate, Byrd could turn in a mammoth season with 30 home runs and 109 ribbies based on splits extrapolated over 648 at-bats.

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Carlos Marmol, Relief Pitcher

Poor Carlos Marmol. Finally after seemingly have put it all together, the combination of limp bats and dead bullpen arms have limited the righty’s save opportunities.

Marmol is 6-for-7 in the save department this season with a 1.50 earned run average and 1.22 WHIP.  Having struck out 35 batters in 18 innings, the Cub closer owns a filthy 17.5 strikeout-per-nine-inning ratio.

Makes you wonder why Kevin Gregg was the full-time closer for four minutes, let alone  four months.

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Carlos Zambrano Silva, Starting Pitcher

While Carlos Zambrano toils away in the bullpen, it is Carlos Silva pitching like a man possessed.

Having already exceeded my expectations by showing up to camp not looking like a beached whale, the 4-0 record, 3.40 earned run average and 1.205 WHIP are icing on the cake.

And that only begins to tell the full story.

In 42.1 innings pitched, Silva has only issued nine walks. Justin Berg has allowed 10 walks in 14 innings thus far this season.

Now, if you only had to choose one — who would it be?

Let’s hear it out in the comments.