The Chicago Cubs are mired in a dreadful season with a lame-duck manager.

The St. Louis Cardinals are fighting to hold off the upstart Cincinnati Reds at the top of the division.

In a mismatch made in baseball hell, the Cubs-Cards rivalry opens up a new page today — and don’t think for one moment this series is not a big deal.

C’mon, today marks the return of Aaron “.185/.224/.242/.466″ Miles.

Even though the Cubs are just playing out the string and counting down the days until Lou Piniella gives his final speech at Clark and Addison, fans attending today’s game against the hated first-place Cardinals should be treated to an offensive onslaught.

In three appearances (two starts), Cubs starter Randy Wells is 0-2 with a 10.13 earned run average in eight innings of work. In his May 21st outing against the Cards, Wells allowed five runs on six hits while failing to record a single out.

Opposing Wells on the bump this afternoon will be Jeff Suppan, proud owner of an 0-5 record and 6.05 ERA split between stints with the Cardinals and Milwaukee Brewers.  In two starts against the Cubs this year, both coming while with the Brewers, Suppan was 0-1 with an 8.68 ERA. In 9.1 innings of work, he allowd 16 hits, 10 runs and three home runs.

I mean, if that doesn’t get you psyched for baseball’s best rivalry, I don’t know what will.

And if that doesn’t get it done for you, it’s time to hop along the express and check out the key factors in the National League’s premier rivalry.

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A new-look Daily Double has taken Wrigley Field by storm. And while the futures of Tyler Colvin and Starlin Castro are not entrenched at the top of the order, the rookie duo has taken the role of table-setter by the horns.

Castro has been sterling in his sting in the two-hole. The young phenom is batting .292 in 67 plate appearances batting second, which seems like a proper place for the Cubs shortstop. Of the four bases he has stolen this year, three of which have come when he has appeared in the two-spot.

An infusion of energy at the top of the order has been long overdue for Piniella’s squad. Castro is batting .359 in July after batting .227 in June. In seven second-half games, Castro has 14 hits in 30 at-bats, good enough for a .467 batting average since the All-Star Break.

As for Colvin, the lefty-swinging outfielder is growing on me. Luckily for him, this Cubs-Cards series is set at the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field. The old ballpark on Clark and Addison is living up to its nickname when Colvin steps to the plate as he owns a career .280 batting average in home games, as opposed to .229 on the road.

While his struggles have been evident, batting .225 over his last 22 games, Colvin provides enough of a spark offensively and enough of a positive presence defensively to keep him in the line-up ahead of a putrid Kosuke Fukudome.

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We’ll get to Aramis Ramirez’s return to glory in a moment, but first, how about Derrek Lee. The notorious slow starter has had his bat sleep-walk through the first half of the season, but has come out of the gates scorching in the second half.

The Cubs first baseman is bating .419/.455/.645/1.100 in seven starts since the All-Star break. After batting .233 in the season’s first three months, Lee has raised his hitting prowess to where it was expected to be this season over the last month. Since July 1, Lee is hitting .313/.378/.448/.826. His baBIP is an astronomical .385, meaning when Lee has put his bat on the ball in the month of July, it’s found a gap somewhere in the defense.

Nothing like bumping your batting average up 13 percentage points by going 10-for-22 over your last five games. It should make a nice point of emphasis when Jim Hendry tries to trade him at the trading deadline.

And to further build his value, Lee could feast against Suppan, who he owns a .429 career average against. Lee is 24-for-56 with six homers, seven doubles and 11 walks.

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Ram! Bam! Thank you, ma’am!

Aramis Ramirez is back in the fold, and not a minute too soon. Sure, the Cubs could have desperately used his production earlier in the season. On the other hand, the Cubs could have sat him down when they were out of it last year, perform surgery on his ailing shoulder, allow him to rehabilitate himself by the time Opening Day came around rather than watch their star third baseman wallow in a slump and become mired by an injury that would have healed itself by now had Jim Hendry known when to throw up the white flag.

A revitalized Ramirez has torn through pitching recently, hitting more home runs (9) and driving in more runs batted in (24) in the month of July than he did in the season’s previous three months.

As for this weekend, Ramirez must be itching to face the back-end of the Redbird rotation. A-Ram owns a career .297/.356/.506/.861 line with 24 homers and 88 ribbies in 585 career plate appearances. However, he’d surely wouldn’t mind facing Suppan, against whom Ramirez owns a .234 career average with only one home run and six strikeouts.

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For the love of God, I beg of the entire Cubs pitching staff to not throw a single hittable pitch to one Albert Pujols. The last thing they should be aiming for is the strikezone whenever No. 5 steps to the plate this series. In 10 at-bats this season versus Northside pitchers, Pujols has socked three home runs.

It’s no secret that Pujols is baseball’s best hitter, but for some reason he seems to amp it up against the Cubs. He’s a career .292 hitter with 43 home runs in 634 plate appearances against the Cubs. Pujols has slammed 23 dingers out of Wrigley Field in 324 career plate appearances at the Friendly Confines.

Even Don Denkinger could see that pitching to Pujols is a bad idea.

So, what number should catcher Geovany Soto throw down when Phat Albert steps to the plate.

Four — as in the four-pitch intentional free pass.

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Is there any way the Cubs can keep Chris Carpenter off the mound for Sunday’s finale?

Dude is 10-3 with a 2.73 ERA in 18 career starts against the Cubs. Carpenter has struck out 93 Cubs, while allowing only 20 walks in 122 innings. In starts at Wrigley Field, Carpenter owns a 6.22-to-1 strikeout-to-walk ratio — meaning the Cubs shouldn’t be waiting for many three-ball counts against the St. Louis righty.

But if Tanya Harding has her way, the Cubs might be lucky enough to miss Carpenter altogether.

What started off as a Buster Olney report saying the Philadelphia Phillies had internal conversations about a swap that would send Ryan Howard to St. Louis in exchange for Albert Pujols turned into “ZOMG! DID U HERE ALBERT PUJOLZ FOR RYNE HOWARD!?!?!?!?!!?”

That is the power (and problem) with the blogosphere.

I’m not sure what part of “internal discussion” turned into “pending trade” to some people, but it did and it mucked up some pretty decent reporting by Olney, who I feel is ESPN’s go-to-guy for news, rumors, notes and information.  His background is with the NY Times for crying out loud, so it’s not as if he’s getting his info from a janitor who happened to come across a crumbled piece of paper in a wastebasket, nor did he likely overheard a fantasy baseball trade proposal.

And while some might brush off the idea of swapping Pujols for Howard, it might not be as misguided as some would make you believe.

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First, St. Louis Cardinals fans must come to grips with reality.  That includes (but is not limited to) limiting yourself to two 30-cases of Busch Light and not praying to your Adam Wainwright bobblehead doll.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, allow me to inform you (again) that there is a distinct possibility in which the Cards do not re-sign Pujols before he hits free agency.  As humble, kind and gracious as Pujols is, the man is deserving of a contract that makes Alex Rodriguez look like he is being paid in peanuts.

Will you, the fan, be mad at Mr. Pujols when he demands Gonzaga A-Rod money?  Probably.  Should you be?  Definitely not.

Considering it is possible for Pujols to dwarf Rodriguez’s contract, combined with traditionally tight pockets in St. Louis, the Cardinals might even entertain the idea of dealing their star first baseman if (and only if) it becomes a certainty that the two teams will not be able to strike a deal.

And don’t even come with, “But the Cardinals could get two first-round draft picks if he signs elsewhere” argument.  Stop yourself.  You know damn well that two draft picks are not going to appease you when a guy who is a lock to hit at least .300 with 35+ homers and 130+ skips town.  It just simply won’t.

Then again, we’re speaking about Cardinals fans.  They’re not always the brightest bulbs in the box.

Thus, the only way to make up for losing a superstar is to acquire one in the process.

Enter stage left: Ryan Howard.

It would be easy to sell Howard to Cardinals fans.  The 6-foot-4-inch, 260-pound first baseman is a St. Louis native who played his ball at Missouri State and always gets a steady amount of applause from the hometown folks.  Howard owns a ridiculous .381/.536/.746/1.282 career line in 84 plate appearances at the new Busch Stadium with seven home runs and 29 RBIs.

In the four years in which Howard has accumulated at least 600 plate appearances, the monstrous first baseman has averaged 52 home runs and 149 RBIs with a .967 OPS.  In the same time span, Pujols has averaged 41 homers and 123 ribbies while OPSing 1.078.

And while there isn’t a significant drop off in production at the plate, note that Howard is no slouch in the field.  For a man his size, he is quite nimble with good footwork around the bag.

With both first basemen heading into free agency after the 2011 campaign, if the Cardinals feel they can sign Howard at a lesser rate and take the excess money that was not spent on Pujols and spread it around to other areas of need, where would you — as a fan — make an argument?

I’m not saying it is going to happen or it should happen.  But I will say that it is not as bad of an idea as some would make it out to be.