Byrd Droppings: A Chicago Cubs Preview

On Monday, we started a baseball season previews with a look at the Chicago White Sox and followed that up by checking up on the St. Louis Cardinals.

That leaves us with only the Chicago Cubs remaining on the firing line.  And if you thought I delivered salvos directed at the White Sox and Cardinals that were out of step with what you expect out of a baseball preview, just wait to see what I have in store for my beloved Cubbies.

Do you want to know what the highlight of the Cubs’ 2009 season was?  According to ESPN, it was the fact that 3 million people went through the turnstiles despite an83-win season.  Three million.  Yeah, I was one of them … but I’d rather watch a game between the Kansas City Royals and Washington Nationals than an episode of [Insert Popular Television Sitcom Such as "Friends" or "Grey's Anatomy" Here] any day of the week.

I’m just weird like that.

Other highlights?  Milton Bradley yelling at an umpire.  Milton Bradley not knowing how to count to three.  And Carlos Zambrano play the role of Chris Brown with the Gatorade cooler playing Rihanna.

But as a Cubs fan, you’re supposed to be happy there because a new sheriff is in town.

Tom Ricketts brings the dawn of a new day over to Wrigley Field, that’s the good news.  The bad news is he also brings back a good chunk of a ballclub that went 83-75.  And I’m still supposed to be excited about 2010′s prospects?

Of course.

Across the nation, fans are hanging their respective caps on the fact that their team’s brought in a big ticket acquisition.  In Boston, it’s John Lackey.  In New York, it’s Curtis Granderson.  In Philadelphia, it’s Roy Halladay.

So, this offseason, the new Cubs Overlord came and brought the fans of Cubdom a gift. (more…)

Only A Drunken Boob Can Mess This Up: A St. Louis Cardinals Preview

Yesterday, The Big Dead Sidebar kicked off its baseball coverage with season previews with a unique look at the Chicago White Sox.

Only here at TBDS will you get a satirical look at the St. Louis Cardinals, who finished the 2009 season with a National League Central Division championship.

And to be honest, I’m not even sure why I am writing this blog.  Cardinals fans hate this site and I am convinced I know why.  It boils down to one of two reasons.

1. This blog is primarily written by a Cubs fan.  Cardinals fans hate everything that is “Cubbie blue.”  Therefore, Cardinals fans hate TBDS.
2. Cardinals fans hate satire.  (Waits for fan to look up “satire” on dictionary.com)  That’s right.  You hate satire, don’t ya?
3. They hate this blog because they’ve read nothing on this blog other than the handful of posts with the “St. Louis Cardinals” tag and realize that I play with kids gloves in regard to St. Louis sports as compared to other targets.

I know some Cardinals fans that take to heart what I say about their beloved ballclub or the self-proclaimed World’s Greatest Fans.  Truth be told, I’m playing with kids gloves in regard to my criticisms of St. Louis in comparison to the other teams covered at TBDS.

So, to the people of St. Louis, I ask for you to buck up and grab a Busch Light and strap it down for this blog.

Los Cardinales look poised to repeat in 2010.  With the dynamic duo of Albert Pujols and Matt Holiday anchoring the offense, along with Adam Wainwright and Chris Carpenter firing bullets at the top of the rotation, it should be only a matter of time before the Redbirds are popping championship-clinching bottles.

However, there is only one thing standing in the way between the Cardinals and a second straight NL Central title. (more…)

Kiss It & Make It Better: A Chicago White Sox Preview

Today, The Big Dead Sidebar kicks off its baseball coverage with season previews.

And rather than go through 30 teams you would rather see jump off a cliff and into a pool of hungry sharks, TBDS has decided to focus on the three teams fans of this site care about.

The White Sox.  The Cubs.  And (gasp!) the Cardinals.

Only here will you get a satirical look at the Chicago White Sox, who finished with a 79-83 record and 7-1/2 games out of first place in 2009 behind the Minnesota Twins and Detroit Tigers. (more…)